Summery Designs from 2020

I had so much fun creating these digital drawings for something in 2020. They ended up on different things than they were originally intended, but isn’t that the beauty of serendipity and happenstance?

Lava

When my brother, Andrew, was a small boy, he failed a test for gifted placement. It was because when asked “What boils?”, he enthusiastically replied, “LAVA!” They told my parents that the only correct answer was “water”. That story always exemplified his creative thinking and uniqueness from an early age. And our family thought his answer was absolutely correct and he should have gotten a bonus point for identifying a liquid hotter (and therefore more boiling!) than water! (Boiling water is 100 degrees Fahrenheit and hot lava is 1,300 – 2,200 degrees Fahrenheit. Don’t mess with a Huber…)

He had a passion for learning everything he could about whatever he loved. Dinosaurs. Star Trek. Transformers. Hockey. Science. And fighter jets. My father loved dragging us to air shows to see Andrew’s eyes lights up and get so excited to see the jets, pilots and aircraft carriers he memorized. One time he corrected a fighter pilot on something about an F-13 versus an F-14 about the airplanes and my dad would tell that story with pride semi-regularly. I went along to be part of the fun and to not miss out. But mainly I was a little bored and hot. Thankfully I had my Walkman and mixed tapes to keep me occupied, everything neatly organized in my hot pink fanny pack. No matter how cool of a pre-teen I was badly trying to be, I always enjoyed seeing my little brother so happy.

There were so many happy times we had. Sad times too, but our childhood was quite special. I had a built in best friend who would make up the best games and was always a good sport for whatever antics we’d come up with to avoid boredom. And we were NEVER bored. We’d jump in puddles, turn umbrellas upside down to give our turtle Shelly a ride. We’d turn the white painted metal patio chairs on their sides to create trains. We traveled the world around the block on our bikes calling out the countries as we’d pass. There were parades. Once I dressed him up in my ballerina costume and gave him tennis ball boobs and he gamely walked around the block. I think I got in trouble for that one. You shouldn’t take advantage when people are good sports, and he really was. There were names for the games – mannequin and the infamous “Destroyers” where you spin in circles trying to smack the other players as hard as you can while calling out your offense or defensive moves. “Chopping hands! Punching! Lasers!”.

We bonded over a clever procrastination technique to avoid doing our Saturday chores and hide from Mom. There used to be 2 sofas facing each other in the living room. When Mom was in one side of the house we’d lay around reading or napping on the sofa on that side. When she walked towards the other side of the house, she wouldn’t see us. We’d jump up energized by our ruse across to the other sofa to avoid her when she returned and hopefully didn’t notice us again. Sometimes we hid behind the sofa and had a fort there. I have wonderful memories of lazy days spent reading quietly and avoiding as many chores (vacuuming for me and trash for the Droid). Although I always thought he got out of chores more easily by pretending he didn't know how and was too young. (Mom's favorite baby boy!)

When riding in the car to and from Disney World, our favorite game was to pretend to be the Monorail drivers (he always had the red monorail, his favorite) and we’d spend hours using the middle seat belt as an intercom – switching back and forth to tell our passengers about the rides and whether they should look left or right. This was a better use for the same seatbelt we’d use it as a weapon to clock each other with if we so much as breathed on the other sibling’s side of the invisible line in the middle seat we shared.

We did our fair share of fighting. I remember once biting him so hard on the arm and being so angry that it must have hurt. But we had to make up quickly unless we wanted to play by ourselves to pass the days (that stretch threefold when you’re a child). He made up for this by losing his temper one Thanksgiving when I took his bike without asking. He pulled me off of it, punched me in the eye (while I had glasses) and I got a cut around my eye. We both got in trouble for that one. And we were both really sorry and had equal wrongdoing in that incident. Oh, Andrew.

As a big sister, I wanted to protect him and vice versa. From mean kids, from bullies, from the awkward stages, from heartbreak, from the standard teenage angst and tough moments, and later from the depression and addiction. I’d talk to him about dumb boys or we’d play each other new music. We’d get excited about stupid jokes that we’d laugh hysterically at that never got old. How my dad gets self righteous about mail solicitation and spends inordinate amounts of time angrily striking out his address and writing in all caps, “RETURN TO SENDER! J.P. HUBER”. One time in my early twenties while home from college I found a letter with this, and Andrew and I ran around the house yelling, “RETURN TO SENDER! J.P. HUBER!!!!!” and falling on the floor laughing. Even my dad was gruffly smiling at his own expense. Every time I think of it, even now, I chuckle heartily and it makes my heart happy. We had that in common. No matter what – we both love our parents so much. We were so lucky to have two people who loved us unconditionally and would do anything for us and we knew it. He was a real Mama’s boy too.

Today would have been his 36th birthday. I can’t picture him as 36. Instead he’s always young and beautiful. Not perfect of course. Who is or wants to be? I picture him gleefully yelling “Hoody hoo!” And I picture him talking for so long on the phone when I was driving over the Ben Franklin bridge one time and needed to get off of the phone, but he was so chatty and I loved him so much and was touched that he wanted to talk to me. I don’t remember what we spoke about but he was happy and I was smiling. Mostly, I picture him around eight years old. He had a particular smile he had that looked very peaceful, a slightly upturned crescent. He’d squint his eyes when he smiled and tilt his head up a bit.

Some birthdays and anniversaries aren’t as hard. This one feels really sad. It’s because I’m with my parents, in the house we grew up in, sitting in a closet that we used to lock each other in, and getting ready for Hurricane Irma. It was 25 years ago when we were in Hurricane Andrew, and we got a kick out of the name being his. We volunteered with my parents after the storm in the Broward Mall parking lot and really enjoyed that. He took care of my parents during Hurricane Wilma a few months before he died.

Today Henry was playing with a long piece of red yarn. “What is that, Henry?” It’s LAVA! (heart pang, the good kind). Henry waved it around and it made me think of Andrew, the good times. Uncle Andrew would have gotten such a kick out of his nephew. I think Henry has some of his Uncle Andrew’s imagination in him. On Andrew’s birthday, thinking about growing up and hearing my son start talking about lava out of nowhere – it made me smile and felt like a big hug and a gleeful laugh from our Andrew.

36 Like 8 Months Later

Since I started writing in a blog in 2005, I have written about my past year around my birthday. That being said. Life with toddlers takes it out of you. I kept putting it off, and here we are. Closer to 38 than 36, but I'm not one for hard rules. What I want to remember about being 36:

1. I started sharing my life and art on Instagram and I'm certain it changed the trajectory of my life at least 5 degrees.
2. I really got into principles of Minimalism because I wanted to find more space in my life. Space to spend time with the people I love, and time to do the things I love.
3. I used Marie Kondo's method and KonMari'd my house. She said your life would change if you do it. I think that the mindset and clarity of what you want in your life definitely were a factor in my life changing drastically though. So thanks Kon Mari.
4. After having a child and returning back to work, I felt kind of blah. I chopped my hair, donated it, and experimented with Capsule Wardrobes to get my style back.
5. I had so much fun with my son and husband. There were times I could cry for the fleeting moments of my son's 2nd year. Alternatively, there were times when I wanted to not be responsible for anything and things felt so hard. I wouldn't change a thing, and I never forget how lucky I am to be the mother of that little dude.

Originally written and not finished in 2016.

Thoughts on Humanity

I published this on my personal Facebook page on July 6, 2016 after the back to back killings of civilians Alton Sterling, Philando Castile, and the Dallas Police Officers Brent Thompson, Patrick Zamarripa, Michael Krol, Michael Smith, and Sr. Cpl. Lorne Ahrens. I had said something after seeing the video of Alton Sterling, and I had to say something following the tragedy in Dallas on Wednesday too.  After more conversations with friends and reflection, it felt right to share here. These are my personal thoughts and words. I'm leaving it here in case it may help anyone feel braver to share their view point - especially when it can be in a way to have more empathy, compassion and unity. 

 I don't want to necessarily say anything, but I feel I must. I recognize that it’s hard to know how to talk about these things. What do you say? How can you support people you love without potentially also hurting people you love? What if you mess up and say the wrong thing and offend someone. Especially on Facebook where every part of your social system, colleagues, friends, and families with differing beliefs are blended together?

But what if you’re quiet and people on both sides see this as agreement or apathy? What if you don’t add your loving and thoughtfulness to a raw and divided conversation? What if you can help gently, loosely, and carefully sew together the worn edges and hints of doubt around fears and ignorance? To show people you stand with all of them, even if you don’t know what to do? To show a different perspective from the polarizing views blanketing the media.

What if you can help gently, loosely, and carefully sew together the worn edges and hints of doubt around fears and ignorance?

I remember what I felt like when my brother died from a heroin overdose in 2005. Some people I loved didn’t say anything because they didn’t know what to say. Overdose and mental illness has stigma attached, and it’s almost perceived as a less tragic death because they were unfortunate enough to be an addict. But it hurt when it was not acknowledged by someone I loved, even though I understand rationally they cared and were scared to make me more upset or widen the cavern of grief. Or too much time had passed and they were unsure. I understood – it just stung. They were scared to say the wrong thing for fear of hurting me. But I CLUNG to the words of people who said something to acknowledge my brother’s death. I remember every single person who reached out to me, even if they were an acquaintance or it was awkward. I remembered gaining sisters and brothers from the people who had also lost their sibling, and we connected immediately by being in that shitty club nobody wants to be in. Those words were stitches to help mend my heart. Even if it was – “I have no idea what to say or what to do except I’m here for you.”

It feels uncomfortable, but maybe we’ve been comfortable for too long. If I’m not sure I want to speak up, and feel uncomfortable, I think of a few things. Will I help or hurt more? Will I regret not speaking up? Would I have been brave enough to be on the side of history I believe was right in the 1950s if I had been alive? Would I have called 911 during the 1964 Kitty Genovese incident or would I have been an apathetic bystander assuming someone else would have helped while she died in front of an entire building of witnesses? Learning about that made me call 911 anytime something happened outside our house in Philly, just in case. I am aware that this brings us to our brave brothers and sisters in the armed forces who signed up to serve and protect us and were there to respond.

It feels uncomfortable, but maybe we’ve been comfortable for too long. If I’m not sure I want to speak up, and feel uncomfortable, I think of a few things. Will I help or hurt more? Will I regret not speaking up?

What I want to say is that I support our law enforcement and military community who run towards the danger to protect us. I have gratitude, LOVE, and empathy for our brothers and sisters in blue, and their families. I pray for their safety and clear-headedness in making split second decisions which I do not have to worry about as a civilian. I want to think that many officers are doing the best they can. I have not signed up to serve, and I can’t imagine how I would feel in their shoes. People I love are in law enforcement and military, and I can’t fathom how the things they see day after day affect them. I don’t know what the answer is, but I think many officers need our support to help them police our communities the best they can. We want them returned safely to their families after each shift, and we grieve when that is not the case. Like last night.

I support our black community who are not feeling safe and face fears I don't have to think about on a daily basis as a white woman. We want them treated with dignity, justice, and returned safely to their families – especially after a respectful and compliant encounter with a police officer. How many of our black brothers and sisters have to be scared to be pulled over, of making the wrong move, of moving too fast or too slow, and for their deaths to be seen as a rational explanation for not complying properly, even when there is video footage showing that is not always the case. When you know how the media portrayal and public opinion of a black man versus a white man is going to be vastly different. When there is more public outrage over an animal killed to protect a child over a horrific accident than a black man being killed in a homicide in front of a 4 year old child.

The same support and empathy goes for all people who feel targeted, discriminated against, and fearful for their safety and lives. This is for ALL colors, races, genders, religions, and sexual orientations. My own mother is from the other side of the world, she came to American on a college scholarship and decided to marry my Dad and become an American citizen. (Thank you, glad to be born guys.) I’m grateful, and being a “little” different has shaped my views on the world, and of other cultures, and people. I think I’m lucky because I look like a blend of whatever people assume I am, whether that’s white, Hispanic or Italian (I'm actually Filipino, German, Irish & Welsh). It’s convenient and helpful when travelling. But I acknowledge that I have the rights and treatment of an upper middle class white woman because of where I come from, how I appear physically, and what society’s stereotypes of me are.

But I acknowledge that I have the rights and treatment of an upper middle class white woman because of where I come from, how I appear physically, and what society’s stereotypes of me are.

I'm conscious that I no longer feel safe going to large public events after running from stampedes unknowingly towards shootings on 4th of July in 2012, hearing too many shootings in my neighborhood in Philly, and not being able to pick up my 2 year old from daycare during a lock-down due to an armed person. As my friend Nicole discussed today, is that truly freedom? Being scared to go to a movie theater, a church, or teach your class? Owning a gun is not the right choice for me personally, but I am respectful of those who feel strongly about their 2nd amendment rights to protect their family and personal safety with their right to bear arms. I’m even more grateful when they own and handle their weapons responsibly and support legislation that can help mitigate some gun violence. Lastly, I acknowledge that all over the world, my fears mentioned above pale to what they are going through in Baghdad, in Syria, in Myanmar, and all over the world.

I'm heartbroken when I see the vitriol in comments of people who so easily resort to the basest of commentary regarding real people and real families who are grieving. This is not a movie, these are human beings. I recognize that the things people say are likely out of ignorance and fear, and the media is a double edged sword of showing while also sensationalizing these fears. So in some ways, I wonder if speaking up is right, or if comments on the internet were the worst thing to happen to our society. If you're not lucky enough to have a diverse friend group like I am, movies, tv shows and media are all you may know of people different than you.

I'm heartbroken when I see the vitriol in comments of people who so easily resort to the basest of commentary regarding real people and real families who are grieving. This is not a movie, these are human beings

I am devastated at all of these tragic events, and fearful that many think it can ONLY be opposing sides rather than ONE human side working together making our entire community and world better. When things are better for all, we are all safer in my opinion. I recognize that may make me sound naive, but can't we TRY to do better? There will always be the outliers, but I want to believe that many people want things to be better. When society is so unbalanced, it endangers us all. Desperate people do desperate things, and we all suffer. Just for comparison, I make a good salary and am living with my folks right now since we’ve moved back to Florida. If I feel like I can barely make it some days, how can people making minimum wage or facing socioeconomic disparity and not having family support make it? I acknowledge that things can feel hopeless, and many people have made their situations better through sacrifice and hard work. My point is to have empathy for people who were dealt a different card than I was to have a better understanding of our country. Go out and talk to people who are different than you. Try to remember that someone else’s gains do not have to equal your losses. We can all gain together, or all lose together also.

When I see a human being, I think that we are not one sided. If I've learned anything reading Humans of New York, it's that at the basic levels, we all want the same things. We LOVE our kids. We don’t want to see our kids hurt. We want to see them grow up and have a better life than us. We want our loved ones to be safe. We want their loved ones to be safe. We want to laugh with our loved ones. We want people to be healthy. We want to be fed. We want to be loved. We want to be remembered. We want to feel valued. We want to be better people. We want our lives to mean something. We want to belong. We want to be part of something greater than ourselves. We all want those things. And it matters to to all of us.

We want to be loved. We want to be remembered. We want to feel valued. We want to be better people. We want our lives to mean something. We want to belong. We want to be part of something greater than ourselves. We all want those things. And it matters to to all of us.

Little Dreams, Big Dreams

In May 2015, I started an artist mother interview series"Carve Out Time for Art" which outgrew my personal website. When I realized that I didn't want to stop the interviews , I bought the domain www.carveouttimeforart.com. Recently, I transferred the interviews over to the new site. I want Carve Out Time for Art to be a site for people who need encouragement, inspiration and tips on finding time to create. Right now there are 40 interviews with artist mothers and a few artist fathers. When I have time, I want to expand this series and include more variety. On my list are retirees who have started painting later in life, full time artists, grad students, people who have careers non-art related, etc. I love this topic so much because I get so excited to see people living their dreams.

Dreams. Yes, lets talk about that oft strewn word.

I'm a self proclaimed big dreamer. Since childhood, I've consistently gone overboard brainstorming new ideas. But I've realized that dreams don't have to be extravagant to be fulfilling. Sometimes the smaller dreams are just as important. And those many small dreams may lead to newly achievable big dreams down the road.

I bet if you think back to dreams you had 10 years ago, many of them that were realized aren't even impressive to you because you take them for granted now. I do the same thing. But it's crazy when you think back. Go ahead, think for a minute and I'll wait.

Did you find one? Me too.

Aren't you feeling proud of yourself? You should. It's okay. I am.

The limiting factor of dreams is that they're not real though. Not yet. Dreams are great because of infinite possibility, and that's why the scheming at the beginning is intoxicating. It's all of the fun without any logistics, hard work, and implementation.

But man. If you do the work to get to that fulfillment stage, it feels pretty amazing.

I still think it's great to have huge mondo beyondo dreams. I will never stop running wild with an idea. But I know that it's not realistic that all of those ideas will be implemented. Only the ones that are most important if I work really hard and give up some things that are not as important.

Having a child, what I most want in my life has changed dramatically. It's not that I've given up on what I wanted before, it's that the priority and meanings of things have shifted. If anything, I was surprised by how much I needed art in my life when analyzing what I most wanted to take up precious drops in my small vessel of precious free time.

What I don't want is for people to get so deflated when they feel like it's all or nothing. Like when they see an artist on Instagram showing 2-3 pictures a day and imagining that person is living this dream life and why should they bother?

So you want to be an artist. Great. Go paint. Go create. Make it work, even if it's not what you think it needs to be. Make it work for you somehow. 5 minutes at a time if need be.

You don't have enough time? I don't think anyone does unless they're willing to sacrifice something. We all have the same 24 hours in the day. And most of those reading this blog are fortunate enough to have enough time and money to have access to wi-fi and clean drinking water.

So how do you find time?

Stop watching as much TV. Wake up earlier. Change your medium. Lower some expectations. Put a sketchbook in your purse. Ask for help. Get off Facebook. Order takeout. Draw with your kid. Look for beauty and interesting colors while sitting in traffic.

Do you know why I love Instagram? It's because every day, I see people who are living small and big dreams. They are people who say, I want more in my life. For many of the friends I've made on Instagram, that dream is creating art. It's being able to have some time to do the work. To feel inspired. Or to have no idea what you're doing and get messy and make something anyway. It's about continuing and not giving up because you cannot imagine living your life without creating something.

I think it's worth it. I know you do too.

Originally published February 2016.

What I Learned from The 100 Day Project

I am so grateful that I pushed myself to participate in and complete the 100 Day Project.

My goals for my project:

• My intent for the project was to find a way to paint more without relying on my signature style of black outlines specifically for interiors.
• I wanted to learn to paint more loosely with watercolor and use color to define the spaces, rather than ink outlines.
• I wanted to develop my personal style more and create a cohesive body of work rather than disjointed pieces.
• I also wanted to have fun and learn more about myself.

My guidelines for the project were:

• Create a vignette. It could be an interior, an exterior, or an outdoor space
• Use watercolors on paper but no ink
• Try to do this daily, but realize your limitations.
• Remember that your family and sanity come first, and don't be so hard on yourself!

What I learned:

1. I needed to have a plan in place and remove as much of the decision making as possible. I knew I had to use watercolor and paint some type of space that humans may encounter. It was helpful and I've learned over time that I thrive on having limits to be more creative and inspired
2. Create limits and structure for yourself if necessary. I learned that I needed to create a story to inspire these vignettes to inform my choices of furniture, pattern, colors and make the vignette make sense.
3. I reconnected with my love of the narrative and creative writing. I've always enjoyed writing, but it's been years since I've made up stories. Who knew I loved making up stories? I was dealing with a major life transition myself, and am interested in strong females, so many of the stories had that in common.
4. Projects and big ideas make me bolder. Quickly being part of a bigger project is empowering. Once I saw how quickly my artwork was building up, I wanted to see it next to other people's projects. It made me reach out and find other Philly artists doing this project. I met Sarah Ferone, and we teamed up to see if we could get a group show. We made a proposal and everything. It did not end up happening (I also found out I was moving to Florida right around that time), but I did learn a lot. I realized it would not be that scary to put together a show one day or submit my own work.
5. Community is key, find your peeps. Since the show idea didn't work due to time and logistics, we instead had a simple yet wonderful meetup at a beer garden in Philly. It is one of the most wonderful things in the world to connect via social media with like minded people. It is even better to meet up with those people in real life. I was thrilled to share some beers with the talented artists Sarah Ferone, Terri Fry Kasuba, Mary Kate McDevitt, Melissa McFeeters, and Barb Chotiner.

What didn't work:

• There were some days that I could not do it. I was exhausted, I wasn't inspired, or just didn't feel like it. I didn't sweat it, because this is a way of life in a way - the deciding to do what matters most.
• I didn't finish it on time. I had a lot on my plate and this had to move down on my list of priorities. That's life and it happens. But it doesn't mean you have to give up. Just rewrite the rules. (I was never good at following them anyway).

My tips:

1. Don't overthink things and your materials are not that precious. Use your good watercolor paper. Make mistakes. Make something different out of the mistake. Take the pressure off of yourself to be perfect. Just get things done. Put it away, let it go and move on. The one time I went back into something, I regretted it. But you know what? It's still fine. And at first it felt too precious to use my good paper to experiment. So I would use my mixed-media pad instead to just create and not worry. But once I started forcing myself to use the good paper, it was fine and I adjusted. If I found myself overthinking something, I went back to my sketchpad or painted smaller that day.
2. You can find small moments to create no matter how busy or frustrating a day you have had. But it's a choice, and sometimes you have to give something up. Sleep before work. TV. Time with people you love. The idea of a clean home. It's up to you what makes the most sense that day and be nice to yourself!
3. Have a designated space if possible. It's easier to create daily depending upon the medium and having a designated place to work that doesn't require a lot of set-up or take-down. Watercolor and gouache are especially good for this. particularly watercolor, since if your palette dries, you just add more water later. Now I don't have a designated space, but I have a bookshelf with a tray I can carry and that works just fine!
4. Sometimes you just need to show up and make crap. But don't stop, keep making something! As Elle Luna said, "Show up, show up, show up!" It's about doing the work, slogging through, not being so hard on yourself, and seeing where the process takes you.
5. Public accountability is empowering. Accountability and working with others (especially posting on Instagram) helped to keep me going. But I also realized that my goal was to finish the project and learn. It's not a competition with others, it's about yourself.

Why I'm glad I did it:

• I'm proud of myself for completing this big project.
• I really love many of the paintings I created.
• It built my confidence in my work and myself as an artist and writer.
• It made me learn to paint quicker and experiment with my style in a cohesive way.
• It showed me what I most wanted in my life, because I found myself inspired by places, stories, and things that I wanted myself! For example, having a garden, moving home to Florida,  an outdoor or tropical lifestyle, being near family, having a simpler life, and needing a creative component in my life, in whatever shape that takes
• I think I'll keep finding things that were great about doing this project, and see how those tiny steps led to larger steps that will lead me to bigger dreams down the road. Like making this into a self-published book and selling the prints and originals soon!

Painting Loose & Half-Dead Succulents

I painted these little succulents about a month ago. It was quick, fast, and loose, and it's one of my favorite things I've made this year. I painted it because I wanted to remember my 1st Mother's Day Succulents I bought for myself (from Henry, of course), before they dry up and die. I should probably re-pot them instead of paint them. Maybe this weekend if I get around to it. I have to give credit to my friend Marissa L. Swinghammer for telling me how to use the dirty leftover bits of your watercolor palette to get wonderful neutrals. She's also taking Yao Cheng's Creativebug class, and I'm so impressed by what she is making. I would love to take Yao's class someday when time allows. Not now though.

I made a couple more of these this past weekend. What a fun way to play, limit your colors, and be loose. I am really into neutrals these days and think it's influenced by all the Minimalist interior spaces I'm coveting on my Pinterest boards. I'm going to take photos and add prints  & originals to my shops soon. I think people will like these.

I don't like hot press watercolor paper as much as others do. I prefer the cold press and rough press, since they soak up the paint better. I bet I would love the plate finish of hot press for gouache though, so will have to try that soon. But not now (is there a pattern here or what?)

There are so many things I want to do, but I gently remind myself that I cannot do everything, especially if I want to focus on specific things, like painting and growing my art side business (after my day job and family priorities of course). I've been thinking about this topic often, especially as I read these amazing interviews from the Carve Out Time for Art series. I will interview myself soon! But not yet.

The 100 Day Project: 39 Days In

Remember when I was hemming and hawing over committing to The 100 Day Project? I am so glad that I followed my gut, and decided to do it. This project is 39/100 days in, and it has truly energized me. I love thinking up something each day, and seeing what fellow participants are up to. Here are a few of these projects I'm enjoying:

#100DaysofNotestoNana - Gina Irie

#pantone2u - Salli Swindell /They Draw & Cook

#100DaysofMiniatureIllustrations - Josefina Schargorodsky

#100DaysofAbstracts - Holland Loop

#100DaysofCollage -  Amanda Hawkins

#100DaysofMyLifeinIcons - Melanie Graham

#100DaysofAbandon - Hannah Betzel

Here are the first 37 days of my project, #100DaysofMHVignettes. I'm enjoying writing the stories as much as painting the watercolors. It surprised me how much I like writing these stories, since I haven't written creatively in years. A common thread emerged, and they all feature women, many of whom are in the middle of a big life change, or have braved the odds to follow a dream. You can read all the stories with the projects on Instagram @marissahuber, or on a Tumblr Page I created just for this project here.

The Importance of Dedicated Spaces for Creative Pursuits

When we moved into our current apartment almost 9 years ago, my husband used the back room as our studio. It became my studio space when he got a studio outside of our home. I would use it sometimes, but usually preferred working in our living room. When Henry was born and claimed the back room, I officially moved my work table into our living room behind the sofa. I actually love it here and use it so much more now! This is how it looked before Mike had to move a huge painting to his studio when it was in a show. I miss the painting, but I love having shelf space now. Plus, it was necessary to store all my dangerous and toxic supplies out of reach of a curious 2 year old boy.I move the sofa when I need to get back there, push it back when I'm done for maximum play space with Henry. We can put drinks back there when we're hanging on the couch which is convenient (especially if your son likes to put his monster trucks in your drinks). Our apartment definitely leans toward function. We have a 3 foot closet in the entire space, so built a closet / loft space to the right of my desk. We are lucky to have tons of artwork from close friends, and have hung it on almost every wall space we have. Mike offered to move my 2 giant tack boards I got from work (they're 48"x48") under these shelves, but we were just too tired to do it. One day I'd love to recover them in unbleached linen and maybe some nickel nail-heads, but it's a very low priority.

This set up has been working well for me. When I KonMari'd my art supplies, I only kept what I loved and need. Her idea of using what you already have to display or store your items inspired me to use my white coffee mugs to store my watercolor pencils and colored pencils. I had not used the watercolor pencils in years, but find myself reaching for them a couple of times a week to experiment now. I use them so much more, and they make me smile to see them on the shelf.  I got rid of half of my Tria markers from interior design, but am amazed that some of them have lasted over 15 years!

I found myself pulling the same watercolor supplies down each time I'd paint, so designated a red tray I have to house my frequently used items. I have my brushes, inks, Schmincke 12 pan set, and artist's tape on it. I just need to pull it down and put it back on the shelf when I'm done, so Henry doesn't climb back there and eat cadmium or cobalt paint or pour black ink on the sofa.

I had my unused oil paints in a Pantone tin, but wanted something that would hold them better. I decided to put them in a glass bowl we rarely use, and I love it. Since I can't really use them right now with the fumes and baby, I can still look at this bowl of paint and think of what I will make with it later on.

I also moved books that I love for reference and inspiration to this shelf so I can peruse them more easily. I paint on old clipboards (that they were throwing out at work years ago), and store them in a metal magazine rack. I decided to use an extra tack-board we had that was laying unused, and store watercolors in the blue box and wooden box that we used to store mail in.

It was nice to find new uses for things that we had or no longer needed once I KonMari'd other areas of my house (still stalled in the kitchen phase now). Having my art supplies available and out makes me more inclined to use them, and since it's easier to stop and start painting, I find I do it more often.

The best part is that I can still hang out with my son and husband while I do some work, and feel like we're still getting some time in. Or Henry can play while I paint for 5 minutes, crawl on the floor with him for a bit, etc. This is not to say that I don't ever have time to paint alone, in fact I cherish those moments. But I love having options, and a place that is mine in our home.

Here's some work in progress from a typical Saturday. I'll work on a bunch of things since it's usually my big day to get things done. I've learned to embrace the mess, to work fast, and not worry about having everything in order before I can paint.

I think it's so important to have your own space, even if it is just a drawer or shelf in your home that is dedicated to your craft or hobby. It makes you feel good, and I think you are validating yourself as an artist, a crafter, or maker by setting aside space to pursue whatever it is you love. You're saying, this is something I do, and this is my dedicated space for this activity. I'd love Henry to feel ownership over his own space too someday!

I love seeing other people's creative spaces! Do you have your own space? Tell me about it!

New Blog Series: Carving Out Time for Art

I am fascinated by other people's daily lives, especially about how they make time for passion projects, side gigs, hobbies, and art. After taking a hiatus from painting after my son was born, one day I just started creating again. The new porcelain palette gifted from my husband was calling to me. Little by little, muscle memory came back, and I started feeling more inspired than ever. I set up my work area to be easier to use in short bursts, and for the first time in awhile, all I wanted to do was paint. I started painting faster and looser so that I could feel like I did something, even if it was for 10 minutes. It also felt good because I resented being told that once I was a mother, I'd never again have a free moment to myself ever again.

Around the same time, I started posting my work on Instagram, which was life changing. I loved feeling like a member of this supportive maker / artist community, and connecting with like minded people also putting themselves out there. Encouragement from others and cheering for new friends gave me more confidence and motivation.

I read an interview in Domino Magazine with Jaime Derringer, and related to the surge in creativity she mentioned after having her daughter. I commented to her on IG that it resonated with me, and she mentioned that other people had said the same. That's when I got the idea to ask others how motherhood had changed their approach to art, and how they found time to paint. (Oh, and I also asked Jaime herself to participate!)

These women are all very different, but share amazing dedication and talent - whether they are finding time to paint right now or not. I can't wait to share their interviews with you over the next couple of months.

I'll post these features for Carving Out Time for Art every Monday, starting on May 4th! Feel free to follow me on Instagram and I'll post the link each Monday.

I created the hashtag #carveouttimeforart in hopes that people may use it when they are able to find some time for themselves to create. We all have the same 24 hours, but this is dedicated to the hustlers, the dreamers, and the people that get things done. Sometimes 5 minutes at a time.

I'm rooting for you.

On Unbalanced Weeks and Dealing with The Murky Area

I had a lovely but hectic weekend, and am having trouble finding my footing this week. One of my best friends was in town for one day from Overseas, and I was able to drive 2 hours to spend some much needed quality time with her. I hadn't seen or talked to her in a year, and it was so special to have a day with her, and on her birthday no less! I wouldn't have traded it for anything, especially a week where my lunches were pre-packed and the counters were clean. With my husband's work schedule during the school year, a majority of the childcare and household activities are on me. It's something that we're working on, and is the main reason why I'm always looking for a Mama Life Hack or a way to streamline my routine.

Some days I feel like there is no way to ever get ahead, especially if I'm not feeling well or we were unable to get our critical household tasks done for the week. Other weeks, I feel like I'm on the top of my game, and I'm crossing everything off of my list. Perhaps I need to focus on the murky middle area and lower some of my expectations. Or listen to Marie Kondo and finally Tidy the rest of my house and solve all my problems (ha!). I'm working on finding my way, and remembering that as my son grows older and our routines shift,  I'll need to be flexible..

I don't think I'm different than others. We always have to choose, and weigh the odds. Sometimes, I say no to things, especially if it's with an acquaintance versus a lifelong friend that I get to see once per year. Other times, I think of what Henry will enjoy most. Sometimes I think about what I need for my mental sanity to be the best mom I can be, and I know that if I spread myself too thin, I suffer.

Last night we chose to play with our neighborhood friends for Pizza Truck Tuesday, instead of grocery shopping. I think it's evident that we all won on this outing. When I look back at my weeks, I'll remember the times where we played with our friends in the late afternoon sunshine after work, and will forget that we were all tired and cranky after a work day. I'll remember commiserating with a friend whose 4 year old was so cranky, she had to leave early.

I'll remember laughing with my best friend this Sunday while Henry threw rocks in the river. I won't regret not going to the grocery store, even though this week feels unsettled chores-wise. I'll remember the crisp air and neat shops we looked at in Elicott City, MD. I'll remember laughing at memories and trying to have 4 conversations at once with your best friends since it's been so long.

I'll remember catching up with our good friends in town from NYC on Saturday, and how Henry ran over to Mike's self portraits while visiting his studio to sit near Daddy. I'll remember playing with a soccer ball and having an impromptu picnic in Rittenhouse Square, like we did when we all moved to Philly in 2004 with our friend Coco.

We'll order the groceries online, maybe just this week. I'll settle into the murky middle parts of my weekly routines, and try to view it on a monthly basis as a whole, instead of week by week. And I'll be gentle with to myself, just like a wise friend told me to do when I was a new Mama. There are only so many hours, and only so many hours with a sweet little boy, who will grow up way too fast, as everyone tells me. But not today. Today, he is two.

Routine into Rituals (Or How I Live Out my 1800s Medicine Woman Fantasy)

Last October, every part of my life was feeling hectic, and I wanted to find ways to streamline my routine so that I didn’t dread the daily tasks that will never go away. I felt like I had to accomplish 30 things just to leave the house to go to work, and frankly, I had hit a wall. My version of Minimalism includes living with intention, creating a ritual out of a routine, and removing extraneous choices when possible. I decided that if I could find a way to enjoy (or at least not abhor) the daily tasks (putting on makeup for work, making our lunches, washing the never-ending supply of sippy cups for daycare, etc), I wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed.

I am a huge fan of Joanna Goddard, and particularly love the Beauty Uniform series on A Cup of Jo. The feature with Holiday Kumar inspired me to buy the book Absolute Beauty by Pratima Raichur. It’s a book on skincare based on Ayurvedic principles, and you use ingredients that you would eat to clean, nourish, and moisturize your skin. The idea of creating skincare concoctions spoke to the part of myself that wants to be a medicine women in the 1800s, and I found myself excitedly purchasing ingredients and essential oils at a health food store in Bloomington, Indiana while visiting my in-laws over Christmas.

After reading the book and determining my skin type, I have been washing my face with a mix of almond flour, dry milk, and a pinch of sugar ever since. I put sesame oil with drops of essential oils on to moisturize, and it has made the daily task of washing my face into a ritual that I enjoy. Although I have not incorporated all of the book’s techniques into my life, I have benefited from this small step. It makes washing my face feel like a fun experiment instead of a chore. Plus, my skin feels fantastic.

Last year, on a mama brunch & shopping date with my friend, Olivia, I also bought new makeup so I could get ready for work and not have to think about what to use. I work in a corporate office, and feel best when my makeup looks natural but polished. I love Nars and MAC cosmetics, and think that they last forever .

For choosing what to wear, editing my wardrobe and doing Un-Fancy's Capsule Wardrobes have been so helpful. I know that everything hung up currently fits and is something that I would like to wear.

When I wash the dishes, I do two things. If I painted my nails or my skin is dry, I put some olive oil on my hands and slip on dish gloves before washing the dishes. I also started bringing my iPad in the kitchen to watch funny 30 minute shows that don't require a lot of attention, like Blackish, Fresh Off the Boat, and Last Man Alive. It's a fun distraction and helps me enjoy the time while I get the dishes done and our lunches packed for the next day.

About 5 months into these changes, I'm feeling much better and think I have a handle on our daily routine. I know that things will shift and you have to be flexible, but the important thing is my mindset has changed.

P.S. As a former makeup junkie, you know that I had to draw all of my daily products, right?!

The 100 Day Project

I first heard of Elle Luna's collaboration with The Great Discontent for The 100 Day Project a few months ago on Instagram and knew I'd love to do it. However, after recently quitting a daily drawing exercise (coincidentally, after 100 days), I worried that it would be flaky to commit to another project, put too much pressure on myself, and need to quit again.

The 100 Day Project can be anything you want to do for 100 days. You could meditate, conjugate a new verb daily, bake something, write a letter, whatever you want. The idea is that it will help you learn something new or hone a skill and hopefully make it a new habit or gain confidence.

After much introspection, I knew I had to follow the tingly/excited feeling in my gut that told me to do this. Plus, one of my favorite internet friends, Michelle Ward, says that if you're equal parts scared and excited, you should go for it. (If you're just scared, don't do it!)

I thought about why my last project fell short. The goal was to paint daily to explore more with my mediums, marks, style, and to have fun - all which I did, and it truly helped with my abstract work. But I couldn't keep up with the daily time commitment because honestly, my heart wasn't into it anymore.

The previous project lacked focus, and no longer aligned with my current goals (I'm starting to sound like my day job). It was making me feel like my style was too disjointed, when I want to be more consistent in order to grow my art and illustration business.

Creatively, I thrive on having limits. By not having stricter limits in place for that exercise, it required more time to sit down and think of what to paint, what to do, and what to work on.

Here I am using Marie Kondo's methods to clean my house, hooked on seasonal capsule wardrobes, and meal planning hacks because it takes out the guesswork and makes my daily life easier. By realizing that I need to apply that to my 100 Day Project, it started to make sense.

So I focused. What do I want to do? I wanted to find a way to paint more without relying on my signature style of black outlines specifically for interiors. I wanted to have more content and ideas for my interior design consulting side hustle. And I had so much fun creating a master bedroom vignette for myself, that I knew that this would become my 100 Day Project.

Day 1: Since the outlines and rules were already set, I just had to wake up a little earlier to paint before work.

Day 2: (technically I fell asleep and painted it on Day 3 instead. Early lesson learned that I need to do this in the morning or I won't be able to complete it). It was my favorite painting so far though!

Day 3: I realized I needed some type of story or character in mind for these designs to make sense and to give me a way to make decisions on what to paint. Or to just give an excuse to do paint something ridiculous.

Day 4: I realized part of the fun was creating the stories and characters. I enjoy it as much as the painting.

Day 5: This one was heavily influenced by myself, as I love having all of the dishes washed before bed lately.

So far, I'm loving this project, and seeing what others have challenged themselves to do. The hardest part is taking a good picture in the morning with natural light! I'm sharing it on a Tumblr page so that all of the paintings and stories are in one place, and of course on Instagram under #100DaysofMHVignettes and #The100DayProject. 

http://marissahuberart.tumblr.com/

Painting What I Broke & New Custom Painting Listings

I recently painted a treasured watch for a someone to honor her father's memory. I felt grateful that I could create something to help another person during a tough time. I thought the idea was so meaningful, and it made me want to paint something that belonged to my brother to celebrate his life.Someday I will paint my Andrew's treasured punk rock leather jacket that he painted on, sewed patches on, and studded all by hand. I love that jacket, and it makes me smile whenever I see it at my parents' house. It's heavy and has the weight of a hug from afar I like to thinkWith all the Marie Kondo "tidying" I've been doing in my home, it's impossible to not think about meaning behind objects and why we choose to hold on to them or let them go. I thought this would also be a perfect way to either help someone remember or let go of an item that they loved but could no longer keep. Conversely, it could also be a painting of something that they loved that sparked joy! I don't know if Marie Kondo would like me trying to add more to people's homes, but if it makes them happy, who am I to stop them? Heck, it could be a painting of a pair of shoes that someone is pining over but will never be able to afford. The options are endless.When I was rushing around my house this past week in a hurry to get myself to work and my son to daycare, I broke a Lorena Barrazueta porcelain dish that I bought at Renegade Craft Fair in Brooklyn years ago. I was aggravated and a little upset, because I really liked it and always put my rings in it. However, with all the Minimalist articles I like to read (and having a toddler), I feel I'm more accepting of things that break these days. It was the perfect excuse to paint something of my own to remember, and then create a listing for others. First I tried to draw it from my head in a loose painting style, but I realized it didn't look right. So I found an old picture I had of it, and sketched it out in pencil on a new piece of paper.

I used the reference photo to see where the light was hitting it, and masked off the white areas and layered on some shadows.

Then I let everything dry, erased the pencil marks, and did a final pass to add more shadows and refine some of the highlights.I thought it turned out nicely, and am happy with the depth I captured in the upper right hand corner of the dish.

The lesson I learned is to try to get up earlier in the morning and not rush, and that sometimes our belongings have lived out their time with us. A friend told me of a Japanese art called Kintsugi, which repairs broken ceramics with gold or other metals. Instead of disguising the break, it highlights it as part of the items history. Isn't that fascinating?

I loved painting this, and created new listings in my Etsy Shop / Marissa Huber for 5"x7" commissions or 8"x10" commissions if anyone is interested!

Painting Kitchen Utensils Since I Forgot to Buy a Shower Gift

This Saturday, Mike and I had plans to go to a coed Wedding Shower this weekend, and I completely forgot to purchase a gift. Luckily, I had free time on Saturday to paint a card for the sweet couple, which filled in as an I.O.U. for a William Sonoma gift card. Since the weekend is my main time to paint, I took the opportunity to make them a card that was relevant, but also to accomplish my goal of creating a downloadable desktop image for April.

I will always love the look of black pen and ink filled in with watercolor, and it's probably what most people think of when they think of my drawings. However, I want to push myself to rely less on what feels safe, and practice using color, layers, and paint to add depth and dimension.

This was the perfect exercise, since I love painting anything related to food, cooking, and baking.

Above, you can see how I used the light washes of color to draw the objects and figure out where everything would be. This was freehand, but usually I would have used a light pencil to sketch it out, and erase after the painting was completed.

In the picture below, I would add layers of color on the various objects after they dried to create depth and substance. For instance, painting the inside of a pot with a darker color to show that it was deeper. I used light washes of color on the outsides of the objects to ground them on the blank white surface. Lastly, I used my tiny brush to line some of the edges of the objects to further define them. I tried to make it slightly loose and sketchy, and retain a limited palette for a more cohesive design.

I had fun creating this and either drawing things that I have and enjoy using in my own kitchen (a Le Creuset Oval Dutch Oven) or items that I am coveting but don't need in my life right now (like a Chemex Coffee Maker).

Here is the finished piece! My favorite things to paint were the measuring spoons, the details on the measuring cup, and the muffin tins. I'm pleased with how it turned out, and I hope they liked their card. We weren't there to see them open it since we also did not get a babysitter and had to switch off going to the party, which was actually quite convenient since it was a block away!

I liked this watercolor so much, I have also added it as a print in my Society 6 store here.

April Free Watercolor Art Downloads

I have wanted to offer free monthly downloads for your desktop or mobile devices, and this is the first one! Please enjoy and share with your friends who love cooking, fancy kitchen items, turquoise, and baked goods. I really wanted to paint rain or umbrellas, but I was not happy with what I made (that happens, doesn't it?!) However, I loved this recent watercolor I made for our friends' wedding shower, and am always inspired to cook healthy food (and aforementioned baked goods) once Spring comes along.

I also made this print "Kitchen Utensils" available here via Society 6.  Maybe for May I will get it together to add the calendar portion, although I like that there is no expiration date on this image! Enjoy and please let me know if you have any questions or issues downloading the images.  Click on the link to download the larger image for the device you wish!

Please note: These images may only be shared and used for personal use. All rights reserved © 2015 Marissa Huber. For any other usage, please contact me and I'd be happy to discuss.

Watercolor Tutorial: How to Use Masking Fluid

I haven't done a tutorial since my 55 step Print Gocco Tutorial in 2008. I think it's time for some new ones! I fell in love with watercolor around 2001, when I started using them instead of markers to separate my presentation renderings from conceptual ones for interior design projects in college. I also worked at a wonderful independently owned art store, Pygmalion's Art Supply in Bloomington, Indiana, where I got to learn so much and enable others to buy art supplies daily.

Today we're going to focus on Masking Fluid, and how you can use it for your paintings. There are tons of details, and hopefully you can learn from some of my trials and errors over the years.

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 What is Masking Fluid? Why is it Useful?

Masking fluid may be used when you want to preserve white areas of your paper while painting. It is a rubbery liquid that is applied on the paper, and when it dries, creates a temporary seal between the paper and paint. Think of it like the rubber bands around a tie-dyed project, or blue painters tape around your windows when painting your living room.  I treat masking fluid as another tool in my technical arsenal. It can be used in a variety of ways, including:

• Blocking out small areas of white in order to get a smooth wash of color
• Since you really can't paint lighter than the paper, you can preserve it for highlights for still lives, landscapes, and cityscapes
• Mark making for abstract pieces, silhouettes, hand lettering, stars, etc

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Supplies Needed: 

Really, you just need the fluid, something to apply it, paper, and water. Bonus items have an asterisk.

1. Masking Fluid: I use Winsor & Newton Art Masking Fluid or Pebeo Drawing Gum. For tiny, intricate details, you may prefer a masking fluid pen*.

2. Watercolor Paper: I am partial to Arches 140 lb paper in cold press, but any paper will do.

3. Watercolors: Whatever you have will do, pans or tubes. I used my Schmincke Horadam Aquarelle (artist grade) set here.

4. Something to Apply the Masking Fluid: I recommend a cheap synthetic brush that you don't mind ruining, or will assign just for this purpose. Some directions say you can wash off the masking fluid, but it's a latex based solution and can sometimes be hard to get off. Just to be safe, I use a 99 cent type brush that is pretty small. You can also use Q-tips, toothpicks or anything else. I do love my Grafix Incredible Nib* that is specifically made for this purpose, has a pointed tip and a chisel edge.

5. Artist Tape*: I use Artist Tape to create a border around my work (which is the same principle as the masking fluid by the way).

6. Rubber Cement Eraser*: These rubber cement erasers are handy and last forever.

7. Water: I recommend high quality H20. Just kidding, I couldn't resist quoting The Waterboy.

8. Something to do while you wait for masking fluid and paint to dry* 

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How to Use Masking Fluid: (Click on Pictures for Step by Step Descriptions)

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Tips and Extras:

• Masking fluid should only be applied on dry paper. If not, it will not work correctly.
• If you mess up an area, don't wipe it up. Let the masking fluid dry completely and peel it up.
• The fluid needs to dry thoroughly or it will not work. Plus it can stain the paper if you smear it when it's not dry.
• Remove the masking fluid at your earliest convenience, but don't worry too much. Depending upon my schedule, I usually leave it on for about 20 minutes, or up to a week with no trouble. I only encountered it once, but masking fluid can stain your paper. I recommend doing a test first, especially if you have an important project or deadline. I think hot press (smooth) paper can be less forgiving, and some masking fluids are better than others. Alternatively, I found an interior design project from 2001 which still had masking fluid on it. I removed it 14 years later with no issues.
• If possible, don't use your best brushes over the dry masking fluid. It should be fine, but can get the slightest bit of tacky residue which is why I caution. Just be sure to wash your brushes promptly after with brush cleaner if possible
• If you don't have a rubber eraser, just pick at the dried masking fluid and it will come off. You can use what you peel off to get the rest off easier.

Let me know if you have any questions or have your own advice to share in the comments. Tag me on Instagram @marissahuber if you make something using these new skills. I'd love to see what you create!

Invitation Illustrations for Brunch Wedding at Valley Green Inn

A good friend of mine is getting married this November. We met on the SEPTA 48 bus, back when we had the same commute years ago. We bonded over knitting, poppy red scarves, and she is just a beautiful person. I'm so happy that she has found such a special partner to share her life with. When they asked me to help them with their wedding invitations, I happily agreed, and knew this was one wedding present that would actually be on time! They're having a brunch wedding at The Valley Green Inn. This is on the Wissahickon in Philadelphia, and is a scenic area to hike, bike, or take your kids, and was so much fun to paint. I was tasked to create watercolor, pen and ink illustrations based on their brunch celebration.I love drawing food. I think it's my favorite thing to draw, tied with NARS lipstick these days. Although I'm trying to not use pen & ink all of the time in my drawing these days, it's probably my signature style. It is so satisfying to fill it in with paint once you're finished (and the ink dries of course, lest it smear!)

I hope you had a good weekend, and were lucky enough to get a Mimosa like I did (thanks to an impromptu brunch with a favorite relative in town for a few hours). I'm still sad I didn't get any cake this weekend, but I'm sure I'll rectify that in the next few days.

These are off to the Graphic Designer who will work her magic next. I can't wait to see how it all turns out!

To Move Forward, Sometimes You Have to Quit

Over the years, I've been so inspired by other artists who have incorporated daily practices into their daily routines. When I turned 36 this past November, I decided to do a daily painting exercise. My intention was to have fun with it, explore more with marks and pattern, and to push myself to try new things.

I read this interesting little book while I was visiting my family in Florida over Thanksgiving, "Daily Rituals: How Artists Work" by Mason Currey. The daily lives of artists and creatives of all types (painters, writers, musicians, mathematicians) were outlined. Many took daily walks, they slept few hours, some were tormented, some were refreshingly happy, it truly varied. (Note for perspective: Many of these artists, though not all, had maids, childcare, benefactors, etc.)

So I started posting my daily painting exercises on Instagram (my favorite social media) with the hashtag #paintcadadía. Cada día means "each day" in Spanish. It is a reminder to paint, but also that daily practice can make a big difference. I don't speak Spanish fluently, but I understood way more when was practicing daily a few years ago with a tutor.

It has been four months since I started this journey. While I think that daily practice is amazing, and would recommend it for anyone, frankly, I am flagging.

But that is okay. I have a full time job. I have a two year old boy that I am the primary caregiver to due to my husband's work schedule. I have to go to the laundromat. I have to cook. I want to draw more, but I cannot do everything I want all the time. At least not while maintaining my sanity and being present for my son, which is my most important priority right now.

What is that great quote? "You can do anything, but not everything."

So I'm going to stop this exercise. I will still paint as much as I can, but I'm not going to force myself to adhere to a strict schedule and feel bad about it if I chose to do something else that day, like play at the park with my son, read a book, take a nap, or lets be real - KonMari my house!

Did I do it for the whole year? No. But did I fail? Absolutely not.

I choose to say that I succeeded in my goal, even if I did it for 1/3 of the time originally slated. Let's just say I was remarkably efficient in my endeavors.

I had fun. I made wonderful connections with other artists.

I explored with my style which clarified what I want to focus on next, which is more abstract painting, food, and makeup product drawings. I want to try relying less on ink with my watercolor illustrations. I want to paint more interiors again.

I carved out time for myself to focus on something important to me. I showed my son that a mom should also have her own time to work on what she loves, which is part of being a good role model in my opinion (granted that child is fed first!).

And when I look at what I posted on Instagram, I'm proud of the variety and amount of drawings and paintings I created these 4 months. I even posted some of the watercolor paintings for sale as art prints on my new Society6 page.

I spoke to my goal oriented cousin this weekend, and I told her, you are "enough" doing what you're doing right now. That is enough! I'm glad I finally listened to my own advice.